


please forgive me, i can't sleep at night

by jutsuzuban



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Afraid of one's power, Angst, Character Study ish?, Crying, Drowning, Falling into Lava, Fear, Freak Outs, Gen, Graphic Description, Major Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Power failure, Powers failing, Powers going haywire, Prophetic Dreams, The "graphic depictions of violence" isn't rlly violence but like in general, desperately reassuring oneself, family bonding???, forced poison intake, its mentioned - Freeform, kai's is the longest probably sue me for having a fave, minor original characters, suffocation, title taken from finneas's lost my mind, told in snippets that fluctuate in length, unrealistic depiction of burnt skin, you may get secondhand anxiety from this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jutsuzuban/pseuds/jutsuzuban
Summary: The ninjas' elements and powers fail them, scare them, hurt them... They're scared.[Please read the tags!]
Relationships: Ninja Team Family
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	please forgive me, i can't sleep at night

**Author's Note:**

> Something I was thinking about. A lot of the fears and situations inspired by Percy Jackson+.
> 
> Written a bit oddly, odd for my tastes, but I think it's okay. It's like being told a story at first, with "you" being mentioned, but then delves more into appropriate fic writing?

It starts with an underground mission. A small gang of Serpentine and SoG are wreaking havoc and are taking shelter in the sewer systems. The ninja are eventually led to someplace deeper into the system, less human activity so it's more dirty and rusty. They move carefully.

But you know metal doesn't stay strong if it's being eaten away at. So they get deeper into less metal floors, and instead start seeing dirt under their feet. Nya or Jay make a comment on how the city should really block off these paths to have a safer sewer system, but Cole's not paying attention because the earth feels wrong around them. The energy in the dirt is thrumming, but not in the normal -- strong -- way Cole is used to. Weaker, like a leaf in the wind clinging onto its home branch.

And just a second before Cole really knows what's going on, he turns towards the others and _slams_ his hands onto the ground, calling on the power of earth to shield his friends in a bubble as he's the one being buried.

And Cole knows he's okay -- that he _should_ be okay. He can dig out a little breathing hole for himself. Except the earth is tight, and it's strong again, and even without breathing in some dirt is in Cole's nose and he's _suffocating_. He's not breathing because he can't, the dirt's too thick, too much, too _everywhere_. He's in panic mode, and tries to catch a breath, but all his frantic flailing does is cause dirt to fall into his eyes.

Cole only gets out when Zane and Kai team up to melt a lot ice so Nya can use it to make a wave and get Cole out.

* * *

It's on a trip to the mountains. It's a week after Cole's episode, and the rest of the team decides it's best to stay above ground, given Cole's now not only scared of the dark, but also the underground.

There's a lot of snow, crunching beneath their feet. It's a _crunch crunch crunch_ in the complete silence. The team's apprehensive, because snow's no longer falling where they are. The white white snow is scorching to look at in the midday sun (Cole is pretty happy though since light means nothing dark or underground).

Then there's a loud, ear-piercing scream. The ninja get together in the tight circle. Zane's memory immediately jogs itself to provide him the answer about the source of the scream- Treehorns.

A huge herd of them are running towards the ninja from downhill, but that doesn't make the ninja feel safe. No, because if a Treehorn fell, they'd be scrambling to not get caught under it. But they can worry about falling Treehorns later, because now they have to get rid of them first.

It starts out fine. Kai's fire and Jay's lightning is enough to ward off the Treehorns, until they get bold. Nya's water can't do much, Cole's a close-range fighter, Lloyd's energy is more of a last resort kinda deal, and what's Zane's ice going to do against creatures who _live_ in the snow? Last time it only worked because his True Potential was fierce -- Zane wasn't fierce now.

Then Kai's hit by the Treehorn _throwing a limb_ at him. Jay's wiped out along with Kai, sweating from excursion. Cole powers up his arms, Lloyd's chanting under his breath, and Nya readies her trident, but Zane knows the odds are not in their favor. So, he thinks he will cause a hailstorm.

Zane takes a page from Lloyd's book and chants, and he's never done anything like this before, but he imagines ice and snow swirling around him, then pushes out. Rinse and repeat, swirl and push. His eyes are close -- when did he close them? -- and he can hear the others gasp. 

Something goes wrong.

Zane doesn't know when or why because it's never happened before, but in the midst of screaming Treehorn, Zane's joints start to freeze up. At first he thinks they're just locking in so he doesn't lose focus, but no, he starts feeling **cold**. Zane's never felt cold before. His internal fans keep him from being too hot and his heating system keeps him from freezing, so why's he freezing _now?_

He can't ponder that thought for long, because Zane hears Cole grunt, and instead puts in more power into his hailstorm, and in turn his fingers no longer twitch in the prayer position he holds.

Zane's realizing that maybe he should stop, that maybe he'd stay like this, end up really frozen, but he's already this far, and the Treehorn are still too close, so he pushes pushes _forces_ his powers to do more.

Everyone ends up okay, but Zane's so scared about not moving he always makes himself move, be it in the kitchen, cleaning, or just tapping and bouncing his feet and hands. Zane used to pride himself on being the calmest ninja, but now he jerks and twitches all the time.

His powers require him to be still, but Zane can't stay still. Not anymore.

* * *

There's a new villain in town. They proclaim to be a wizard- no, a _god_. The ninja think it's gonna be an easy mission and the "villain's" a crazy person because that's what they're hoping for. It's been a month since the Treehorn incident and Zane's slowly learned to move on, but he's still cracking his knuckles and turning his head.

Except...the villain _does_ turn out to have some power. They can levitate and move things; a psychic. The ninja are surprised, but they still think they'll do okay, because didn't Garmadon levitate and move stuff with his mind? It's basically the same thing here, right?

Until one day Nya corners the villain, and Nya thinks she's got them. Then the villain pops open a vial and says, "I've always wanted to try this!" and shoots the purple liquid inside towards Nya, making it invade her mouth and down her throat. She can feel it sink into her bloodstream, entering it, entering _her_. It's water-based, she knows because she can _feel_ it, knows she can control it if she wishes, but she _can't_. It's everywhere and nowhere all at once. In her stomach, in her lungs, behind her eyes...Nya can't control it because it's everywhere and the poison's making her feel sick and-

Nya's saved. Kai knocks out the villain, and Lloyd and Jay dash for Nya to hold her up, keep her from falling flat. Zane takes her temperature, her vitals with his hand on her chest, her blood- The poison's not deadly, only leaves Nya with a stomachache, but the powerless feeling...She couldn't do anything to save herself.

Kai says the villain's lucky it didn't harm Nya so much, but they both know the poison's done enough damage.

* * *

Lloyd's fear of his own power, energy, comes at an odd time. It's because it's not during a mission, it's during him playing with Kai and Cole.

They're playing Smash Cart, and they're moving all about, trying to distract each other with wild movements. Eventually Kai resorts to hitting Lloyd with his elbow every so often, but something weird happens. Kai slumps back as if he's tired, but it's only 4pm and way past lunch so he can't say it's because of a full stomach. The team brushes it off, and Jay takes over for Kai.

Then it happens more and more. During training, when Cole and Lloyd are wrestling, because they both love using their fists more than their powers, Cole starts...moving slower. Sluggish. Like his energy's being sapped. Lloyd pokes fun at him, but can't help feel something's wrong. He dismisses Cole, and says he wants to tussle with Jay, since the lightning boy's fast on his feet and it's hard to catch him. Oddly, after only a couple close swipes to his shoulder, Jay falls, and Lloyd's _really_ worried.

The last straw happens at dinner with Wu there. His uncle's been gone for the past two months on the search for something, and when he comes back he hears three tales that has his students afraid of their own powers. Lloyd tries to smile and not fidget.

Wu turns to Lloyd, and very gravely says, "Don't blame yourself for this." And in a moment of complete vulnerable curiosity, Wu drops his whole body onto Lloyd's side. Lloyd freezes, and doesn't make a move when his uncle faints back, head being caught by Jay's fast reflexes.

Lloyd can only stare at the gray face of his last blood relative.

Wu recovers though, and so does Lloyd. Lloyd gets a grip on this new energy sucking thing, but now he's scared of touching someone and taking their energy, their _life force_. 

Lloyd's not sure if he'll ever really forget this, not when his uncle's face still has gray.

* * *

Wu thinks the ninja should take a break, and where better to take a break than at Jay's parents' place in the desert? Plenty of sun, no caves, no snow, no water, sparse living creatures -- it's paradise for the ninja.

So the ninja pack their bags, say goodbye to Wu (and bless Pixal for willingly taking over watching Ninjago City), and off they go to Ed and Edna's, who were happy to receive them.

Things go alright the first few days. Jay gets right into the swing of helping his dad with tinkering, and Nya's helping them out too. The other boys help them out by digging through the junk to look for parts with the exception of Zane, who's helping Edna in the trailer.

It started off subtly, slowly, like a rollercoaster ride that inched upward. The lights would flicker every once in a while, but Ed said that since it was summer, the generator would act up every now and then, but it was nothing to worry about.

_Makes sense_ , Jay thinks to himself, because after all that's happened so far, he worries he's next to have his powers go crazy. But that can't happen here, he wouldn't let it. And besides, the generator really _did_ act up in the summer months, he knew that. It was just a coincidence. Scary, but safe. It wasn't Jay at all.

Except he thinks maybe it _is_ him, because the old TV's on the fritz ("again?" says Edna), but Jay chides himself saying it's just old, it's a _coincidence_... An old car's lights flick on, and a creepy battery-powered baby doll sparks to life (Kai had a fun time with that).

Jay reasons with himself, saying it's all harmless stuff turning on, and it's all just a _coincidence_. Nothing's wrong with him, his powers aren't _broken_... If they are, Jay would fix them. He would fix them before any real harm could be done.

Real harm comes too soon, too close. Ed's power screw goes absolutely haywire one day, nearly getting his finger cut off. The big power saw roars to life as Cole sets his hand down in front of it, and almost had his whole hand gone. The Walkers' electric stove bursts, and Jay's only lucky Zane reacted quickly in time by coating the stove in ice before his mom got too hurt and the trailer get done too much damage.

Jay's losing his mind over it, but he reassures himself it's all _fine_ , everything's _good_ , all the people he cares about are _all right_ -

"Jay we have to leave! _You_ have to leave! There's too many machines here- _Are you fucking listening to me?"_ Kai's grabbed Jay by the shoulders, and Jay nods fiercely, but he's almost crying and Kai's shaking because they're the last two to not have gone haywire and _oh god Jay's on the fucking fritz isn't he, oh god._

Jay can't remember what happens next, but he remembers screaming. Lots of screaming. His screams, Kai's screams, his parents' screams- There's a lot of popping sounds too, which Jay will learn later came from the big stadium lights his parents had around the junkyard, the lightbulbs bursting from the intense discharge Jay gave out.

The others end up all right, if only because Cole put up a rock shield around them. Jay and Kai can't say the same for themselves, because then Jay's surrounding himself in blankets and books and shoves himself into the empty wooden room Wu uses to meditate in and forces Zane to uninstall the lights in the room. Kai stares out a window, only wondering when his freakout will happen, and how destructive it'd be.

* * *

At this point, knowing that their powers are going on into the unknown, the others (excluding Jay) trail after Kai, keeping a close eye on him. Kai can't say he hates it, because he's worried too, and he feels safer knowing that someone will do something should he do anything.

It starts on a dark night, and Jay's finally crawled out of his "isolation chamber" to join the boys in their room again. They have a nightlight plugged into the wall, Jay sleeping the furthest from it and Cole the closest. Kai's feeling cold, too cold. He draws his blanket up tighter around him, curling in to preserve body heat -- except he has none. He's just cold, cold, cold, and he doesn't know what to do.

He gets up and goes around the Monastery, looking for extra blankets and pillows and coats and jackets and _why is it so cold?_

Kai changes out of his pajamas and slips on a hoodie, then a jacket, then another jacket, and lastly a big winter coat from their Treehorn mission. He's still cold. Kai muses about stealing Zane's clothes, because they're the warmest from living in a cold region, and decides that he will because he's so, so cold. He also steals Cole's socks, and Jay's silly leg warmers. Kai knows he must looks stupid, but he's just so _cold_. He piles on the three extra blankets he found and creates a small nest of the extra five pillows he managed to find.

The next day, everyone looks at Kai weirdly, but inwardly they know it must have to do with Kai's power going crazy, because Zane assures them Kai's breathing, so they refrain from speaking, although Jay has to laugh a little. It's humorless though, and has more of a dry undertone.

Then, when the sun reaches its highest point, and everyone's in the living room, Kai starts sweltering, feeling as if he will _die_ from the heat. So he starts shedding off all his layers, but it's hard, especially when he feels like he will pass out from heat stroke and _god_ someone _help_ him take off this stupid jacket. Zane swiftly helps Kai out of his plight, and Lloyd takes the opportunity to snatch the leg warmers and socks off Kai. Kai's still feeling really hot though, and moves to take off his shirt, too.

Everything's still too _hot_ , and _why is it so hot_ when it was just cold a moment ago? He voices this out loud as he's frantically getting glass after glass of water, of juice, and straight _ice_. The ice melts so, so quickly in his mouth.

Kai's close to crying, which is weird because he never cries, but maybe it's because his eyes feel so dry his body needs to cry. Zane approaches him, his hands getting that faint blue-white glow that appear when he uses his powers...

Both Kai and Zane cry out when Zane touches Kai's bare arm. Zane's hand, the _indestructible_ material it is...looks like it's **melted**. Kai's arm has a mark in the shape of Zane's hand, and to Kai's horror, starts _bubbling_. Nya's quick to dump a glass of water onto her brother's arm, and the water evaporates the second it hits contact with Kai, but it seems to do the trick and the bubbling subsides, leaving Kai's skin a pale red color still in the shape of Zane's hand.

Jay takes a look at Zane's hand, and says it's okay, that they can get Pixal to fix it with a simple welding job (no one points out that he or Kai can do the job).

Kai realizes that this is his powers going haywire. Hot and cold, his temperature will fluctuate...what will he do if he's cold? He quietly asks the group this, and Lloyd is the one to speak, although it's slow with that fearful tone in it; says that maybe it's like his power going haywire, that Kai might be taking _their_ body heat to fix his own.

Kai's glad that's all his powers do -- all his powers _will_ do -- and says with conviction, "So I'll just wear a bunch of clothes to sleep in."  
...  
Life's never simple for the ninja, because the layers don't end up being enough, and Kai's still cold, not getting warm like he did last night, and he's scared he might have to...to _touch_ someone to do something. He endures it for tonight.  
...  
Afternoon hits, and Kai's still cold, not hot like he thought it'd be. The others are looking at him with worry.  
...  
Evening. Kai's still cold.

They all know Kai has to do something. Kai knows he has to do something. All he's done so far? Nothing. Nothing in the eyes of whatever god is messing with them (he knows it's Lloyd's grandpa, they all do, but all they can do is stew in silence and support Lloyd when he cries and apologizes).

They all know Kai has to explode.

Kai announces his plan quietly, into the grim silence of the dinner table. His words are like a bullet echoing in a cave.  
 _"I'm going to go to the Temple of Fire, and jumping into the lava."_

Everyone's instantly clamoring, jumping up and shouting "No's" and "What the fuck?" until Wu silences them with a loud "Quiet!"  
He stares at Kai -- hard, like how a coroner would stare at the dead patient on the table.   
"Is this what you want? Lava is not restricted to only the Fire element, Kai. It is strongly related to Earth, too. You cannot rely on your fire resistance alone."

Kai can only stare back with Wu with a haunting gaze, ancient and tired with the way his eyelids droop and the color dull. Kai pulls the blanket around him tighter as he shivers.  
"I think that's what the FSM wants me to do."  
They don't ask Kai what he means by that, but they've seen Kai's fits in the times he does catch sleep.

So they go to the Temple of Fire, its volcano dormant. The lava bubbled innocently. Nya can't bear to look at it without crying.

Wu look at Kai, his stare calm in contrast to his white knuckles clutching his staff.   
"Kai, you can die if you do this."  
The blacksmith, beloved red ninja he was, could only shiver as he stepped closer towards the flame, face grim as he stared down into the bright bubbling lava.

"There's no other choice. I saw in my dreams this is what I have to do."  
"And did you die in your dreams, Kai?" Wu asks, and the others look towards Kai, not trusting themselves to not burst out into tears and throw a tantrum.   
"I don't know. My dreams never went further than me falling in."

The others retreat onto the Bounty, listening to Kai's warning that he remembered the volcano erupting when he fell in. Nya drives the ship away from the volcano, but can't bring herself to get too far. If the volcano does erupt, she knows her tears will be enough to stop any debris from getting near the Bounty.

On the ground, Kai's getting rid of the jacket and hoodie he's worn for the past week. Everything's just been so cold, and being close to the lava...he feels a little of the warmth he's missed. 

"Hope you're ready to get your ass kicked when I die," Kai mutters, imagining beating up the FSM. He shakes his head, because why would think about that when he's about to fall into lava? No, instead he thinks about the dinners before everything went downhill with their powers -- Nya's boisterous laugh, Cole flexing at the dinner table. Lloyd shaking his head with a smile. Jay and Zane tossing mechanics jargon at each other with Nya occasionally dropping in her own two cents. Wu sipping tea as he stared at the team with that gleam in his eyes that Kai identified as fondness. 

Yes, much better thoughts to keep in mind when about to die.

With a cocky smile, Kai lets himself embrace the hot lava he feels bubble as if it were his own blood.

And Kai doesn't know what's happening, but he thinks he's dead. He can't feel his fingers flex when he moves them, if his fingers are even moving in the first place. A warmth circles around the back of his head and the front like a halo. It sears into his skin, and Kai can only wince. He doesn't dare open his mouth, but a rock bumps his lip and that's enough to get a mouthful of lava.

Kai's floating in lava and he won't open his eyes.

Soon, everything becomes too hot, and Kai panics because maybe he'd have been all right if he just dipped in his toes for a minute or two, and he didn't have to submerge himself into lava, but he's already here and he's too far from the surface and he can't move his limbs-

Everything explodes around him, and Kai feels his body fly up. He screams, spitting and coughing out the lava in his mouth. He's hot, he's hot, lava is everywhere. The open air's on his back, his shirt flying up to block his vision, and Kai panics, frantically pulling the shirt down to get a glimpse of where he's at. He's in the air, sees the Bounty in the distance directly in front of him. Charging at him. He sees Zane and Cole reaching out for him, but he's too far, and _god_ Kai's not dead but he will be _because he's going to fall into the lava and oh god when he was just only starting to feel warm-_

Kai falls, and in the back of his mind, seeing Cole look down at him instead of up, Kai has to smile. He wonders if this is how Cole felt when he fell all those months ago, and if he feels now the same as Kai did back then. 

Cole jumps. Then it's Zane, and Kai can see Jay and Lloyd's hands grab Zane's ankle. 

Cole's hand wraps around Kai's wrist, and with a jolt Kai realizes that Cole was holding onto Wu's staff, the other end in Zane's grip.

Kai cries then, as Lloyd and Jay pull Zane up, Nya helping Zane with getting Cole and Kai up. Kai knows that he doesn't have a grasp on it yet, but he grabs everyone into a group hug, crying into Nya as he absorbs their warmth, and releases it back out to them. It's a comforting cycle, a pattern they fall into. Kai takes, he gives to Cole behind him, then reaches for Zane, Lloyd, Jay, Nya, and takes again for a repeat. Wu stands back, head in his hands, weeping silently to himself as he holds onto the thin fraying hope his ninja will be all right.

And they won't be all right, not right now, and not next week, but they're happy now, and that'll have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Lot of peeps on Discord were yelling at me, lol.
> 
> "oh my god [Wu] fckin dead // miss keisha? Miss keisha??"   
> "Please don't kill Ed and Edna"   
> "I FUCKIN CAME BACK TO BE UTTERLY DECIMATED THE FUCK BRO"   
> "oh no the stress and trying to prevent it is making it worse jay no"   
> "Mikey haven't even said shit and im already sobbing"   
> "Mikey blease go sof on your husband" (obviously I didn't lol)   
> "Pain.jpeg"   
> "KAI NO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK" "LISTEN HERE YOU NO GOOD SON OF A FUCK FSM, OU TAKE YOUR CASPER LOOKING DEAD ASS AND MOVE THE FUCK ON FORM THESE KIDS YOU NO FACE HAVING ASSHOLE // Oh I thought you meant mikey" (wouldn't have been surprised X3c)  
> "Mikey is just out here content to watch me slowly suffer and die huh" (yes I was lmao)
> 
> Love y'all: Kiwi, Sayi, Sita, Weeb <3


End file.
